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I was the oracle, remembering each detail from my supporting role. I was causing trouble, making things difficult for everyone."What happened to you back there? Just like that, you lose your footing, and you're in over your head. He noticed my sudden distance and pouted, unsettling to see in an adult.

From a sexual attraction standpoint, I challenge you to stand me shirtless next to Sophia Loren in Look, Steely Dan probably couldn’t talk at all to "Hey Nineteen" because they admittedly had "nothing in common." Not because she was too young to name an Aretha Franklin song (which, like, come ON, Steely Dan); the idea that people are what pop culture references they know reduces falling in love to trading trivia. A lot of women have told me they won’t date younger men because of maturity issues, and that’s probably where the idea of a prohibitive "age gap" comes into play for a lot of people.

As anybody who’s ever had to play "What are your top five favorite movies? A fantastic woman several years my senior recently told me I should only date older men, because even though I’m 28, "being in your twenties is a form of functional retardation." I think there’s a grain of truth there, if only because I don’t know anybody who looks back and thinks, "Man, how awesome was I in my twenties?

(I know how that sounds: I cringe now just typing it.) But at the time, to us, it wasn't weird or taboo as much as this epic, forbidden romance. Before long we were all hanging out together, driving around in his car: T and me in the front, my friend and her boyfriend in the back. What I do remember is sitting on a couch with T., him putting on a Elton John song and telling me, in words I can't recall specifically, that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I just recall being almost to my house, when I told T. I could see my house now, coming up ahead."We need to discuss this," he said. Like me and Sydney, she will most likely yearn for attention at one point or another. But how can I teach her that it is just as OK to need that scrutiny to stop?

While they made out, we made conversation, thrown together in the awkwardness of nearby coupledom.

Given the opportunity, your friends and strangers will judge you for being out with somebody who is too fat, too thin, to short, too Asian, too a stripper, whatever.

It is up to you to be mutually happy with the person you date.

Before long, we had our own inside jokes, a shared eye-roll at yet another lover's quarrel in a small space.

We talked about music, about high school, his experience then and mine now.

In tenth grade, we made friends with a group of older guys who hung out on the main street of town, which ran parallel to the local university — guys who'd once gone to our same high school and had never left the social scene. I remember how quiet it was, birds soaring overhead, no other sound. I grew to dread the moments we were alone, especially when I needed a ride home at the end of the night to make my curfew. In the initial years following, I never really talked about this with anyone other than my high school girlfriends and various therapists.

When they weren't doing BMX and skateboard tricks in front of the post office, they were spending what money they had at the nearby arcade, or spinning on stools and shooting straw wrappers in their favorite burger joint, just across the street. We had gotten in the habit of him driving me home, and my suddenly wanting to make different arrangements seemed to inconvenience everyone. As I got older, however, the more I realized that my experience was not an uncommon one.

Like, "This Cuban-Chinese restaurant is half-Latino, just like the late Emilio Estevez." Or, "I just put a dollar’s worth of O-Town songs in the jukebox.

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