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We do not learn empathy (the ability to relate to another's feelings) until we're older.
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Your articles on Borderlines have provided so much clarity and relief, I can finally let myself off that hook, and move on with my life.
I found the links to your site through BPDfamily.com, and my experiences on that board have been very helpful as an adjunct to your materials, but I'm concerned. Other letters/responses concerning this issue have been posted here.
So my life is cruising along, and I get an email from the old flame--and suddenly I have turned into a complete and utter JELL-O HEAD! Any recommendations, books, websites you think could be helpful?
Please know I don't expect you to fix this, I just need a place to start. an issue, it doesn't re-ignite; true emotional growth would insure against this happening.
I never really dealt with the break up--which is a pattern for me (burial of stuff). How is it, that I can be so put-together in all respects, and then ignore my better judgment in terms of corresponding with him?
However I did deal with my codependency through amazing therapy and was able to prevent it from occurring in my present relationship (married 18 years). I really think if it weren't for the geographical distance, I would be powerless to stop myself from seeing him. I am so shocked by my reaction to this situation and ultimately scared of my loss of control where he is concerned.
It's the one place they don't have to be 'in charge.' Men in powerful positions might engage in sex play with a dominatrix, for the same reason. I am currently working with a young woman who is my same age, and who's terminally ill with cancer.
There's no reason you have to blend your fantasies with your real experiences, unless you want to. She has a husband I have been working with as well but very limited--usually around concrete stuff. Caregivers typically have poor/unhealthy boundaries due to self-worth issues, like always putting the needs of others ahead of their own.
I have never ever felt this way about a client before, and feel terribly guilty about wanting this poor woman's husband. She says she's afraid of hurting me, and that I should be cautious.
I like this gal a lot, and she's totally gorgeous and sexy--so I'm not sure what I should do.
Shari, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago, because I want a relationship that leads to marriage and family, and he doesn't.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating