las lindas updating - Fat acceptance dating
And to uncover just how different it can be to date as a plus-size person, we spoke to five women from across the country.
Some date online, while others choose a more "traditional" route.
Back then, it would really affect me, and I’d think, ‘Am all I good for is sex? ’ It felt like they thought they could say whatever they wanted to me because they didn’t see me as a person. I don’t know if that was because I was so young, and that’s just what was on people’s minds. And it’s really sad and tough, because you also have your parents at home who question what you’re eating or asking if you want to go to the gym. This last boyfriend, I really do have to give him credit. And when I saw the post, I was like, ‘Oh my god, this is so great! But we should not be putting men on a pedestal for liking curvy bodies. But when it does get brought up by guys, they tend to be like, ‘Oh, you’re into women? And I’m like yes — but I’m also into Sci Fi fiction and the conversation can go that way.
I hope so many men see this.’ But then I started thinking, and I was like, ‘Wait. It’s problematic, but we have that internal war within ourselves."So when you asked me if it was the relationship that helped, my answer is no — it was myself. And I’ve had to face some ugly truths in this relationship about how I view myself and my work and what kind of love I accept and think I deserve. I look at myself in the mirror and I think, ‘You are beautiful. The fact that they go right to the fetish thing has to be frustrating.
As a straight-sized person, I sometimes get slut-shamed if I turn a guy down, but I don’t get body-shamed. Well, aside from my ex-boyfriend, who I met on Tinder and who wound up being pretty great."Hm. I feel like this relationship that I was just in — he was the first boyfriend who never told me that I had to lose weight. He acted correctly, and because of the way we talk to plus women about their bodies, you feel like you need to give him credit. I don’t have to accept less than what I deserve because of my body.""I think for me, I’m hyper-aware of how language is used when it comes to talking about me and my body on dating sites, or when I’m at a bar, or wherever I meet another person. But the fetishization tends to come when people make assumptions about what plus-size women actually like. And I don’t categorize myself as BBW in any way, just because it is a category. But that gets brought up first — mainly because the queer thing only gets brought up if I mention it. If a man swipes on me, he tends to assume I’m straight.
Having a stranger attack you for your body shape has to be so disheartening."It is, and it was. Now I’ve got guys DMing me on Instagram asking to take me out on a date. Every other boyfriend would be like, ‘Damn, if you were to drop however much weight, you’d be a supermodel.’ Men have outwardly said that to me.""Exactly! When in reality, he just acted the way a good person should act. I follow Robbie and his wife Sarah, and I’ve loved them for a really long time. It’s very prevalent for plus-size women to constantly have their bodies be the forefront of the conversation for a lot of reasons. Like, I’ve gotten messages from men — it’s male-specific, biologic, cisgendered men — who want to feed me all the time. That’s just kind of how it’s been in my experience.
A few enjoy more casual sexual experiences, while others are happy in their committed relationships. I’m always on the lookout 👀 for a good pair of ripped jeans!
But all of them have dealt with one specific thing: their bodies being at the forefront of the dating conversation. And I love that these @torridfashion ones have frayed hems!
Those who seemed nice in their profiles turn out to be total fuckboys after the first date.
But plus women often have an entirely different experience with dating than women who are considered straight-size.
People will yell, ‘Hey sexy,’ to me on the street, and I’ll ignore them or tell them to fuck off.
And then they’ll whip around and say, ‘Well you’re fat anyway.’ So you first appreciated me, and then the moment I denied me, you lashed out."Women can be tough, too.
I mean, in my experience, that kind of explicit sex and fetish talk doesn’t really happen until after we’ve slept together a few times.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating