Friend dating my ex etiquette

There's no denying that divorce is hardest on the couple and their children.

But its effects can ripple out into the splitting spouses' social spheres as well, often causing disruptions when friends and family members aren't sure about what they should say or do when it comes to interacting with the now-split couple. "A lot has to do with our own emotional reaction to a close friend or family member's divorce," says Margot Swann, founder and director of Visions Anew, a nonprofit divorce resource for woman.

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You may find that your friend is in tighter financial straits immediately after her divorce, particularly if she was a stay-at-home mom during the marriage, or has had to move because she could no longer afford the mortgage.

This sudden change in lifestyle may make her retreat a bit more from her social life.

If she just wants a little company, offer to take her along on your morning walks or to the gym; come by with coffee (or a bottle of wine! Don't forget she may need practical help, too: Offer to drive her kids places or ask your husband to help out with chores like mowing the lawn or getting the oil changed in her car, suggests Swann.

Your sister is getting a divorce, but you think she's making a mistake.

Keep in mind, too, that just because the news comes as a shock to you, the same might not apply for her; she may have been thinking about it, and discussing it with her spouse, for years before the announcement.

One thing that is certain: Berating her for making a mistake won't help, says Swann.If there are group outings that you know she would love to go to—like dinner with a group of your girlfriends—"offer to pick up the tab now and then," says Swann."You don't want her to feel isolated right now." Family friends are getting a divorce and all the kids involved have a lot of questions about it.The easiest way to provide support is to take your cues from her: If she wants to just spend time with you without talking about her ex, do that.If she needs a few late-night sessions to vent and work through her grief, be there for her."You can say, 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but I still enjoy spending time with Jane. If he's adamant about you breaking it off, you may have to decide if the friendship is worth risking your relationship with your brother, adds Lancer.

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