Hard to get dating

Sure — to some people, both the people who only appreciate the thrill of the chase and the people who are a bit insecure already, so being aloof feeds on that insecurity," she said."But, if you're looking for a long-term committed relationship, then you want to be with the person who appreciates your ability to communicate your feelings, not withhold them." Playing hard to get could also mean you attract people who have an avoidant attachment style."Yes, if you show that you're confident and you don't 'need' somebody, you appear like you've got lots of options and so you must be a good catch," she writes in a blog post for Psychology Today.

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You will probably have heard this classic piece of dating advice thousands of times: Play hard to get.

It's a common belief that acting aloof and unavailable will drive someone crazy, and right into your arms.

If you're looking to attract men, this course of action is considered particularly effective.

But if scientific research is anything to go by, it's nonsense.

The "norm of reciprocity" is a sociological term that means we tend to like people who like us, and dislike those who don't.

It's a simple idea, but if it's true, it could mean that playing hard to get could make people think we don't like them, leading them to dislike us in return. So even though someone may not like you that much, they may want to still prove they can have you, because they've been chasing you for so long.Hatfield, the American psychologist who conducted the 1970s dating experiments, looked into what a better method of attracting someone could be, for those of us who can't get the balance right with showing interest.In a final experiment, researchers told men they had matched with five women's profiles, all fake for the purpose of the experiment, who had attended a session where they had filled out forms about what they thought of the men they'd matched with. One woman gave all her matches low ratings, one rated them all highly, and a third was selective, rating all the other men poorly except the test subject who was given a very good score.If you're busy and can't meet up with someone, that's one thing, but playing with someone's feelings because you think it will give you the upper hand is a waste of time."Does it perhaps make you more desirable in the short term?These are people who act very self-sufficient, and only enjoy closeness on their own terms.

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