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And thankfully, due to porn’s strict STD testing policy, her energy is the only thing about her that’s contagious.

She was shorter and had a better sense of humor than I imagined.

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“Have some quality control, you animals,” he would mutter as he tucked his limp penis back into his pants.

—Dildos Everywhere – I’m admittedly a bit of a germaphobe, so being on a porn set is my nightmare.

I tried my best not to shake hands with anyone or touch anything, but it was unavoidable.

There wasn’t any surface I really felt comfortable touching.

I get free meals, I go to movie screenings, I get invited to parties… But nothing has made my friends quite as envious as when I told them I was going to Veronica Vain’s first porn shoot.

To all the dudes out there who are in the same camp as my buddies (insanely jealous), I assure you, it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

All of her pictures make her look like such a stern business lady sexpot, I thought she might be a drag.

But I guess if you’re gonna get into porn, you’re not the type of person who takes yourself too seriously.

As I’m sure you can tell from the videos, she was funny and self-aware, which was a big relief.

I can’t speak for Derek, but I felt a bit out of my element, and Veronica’s lighthearted demeanor definitely helped ease the tension.

—Sexiness of the Set – Veronica is hot, and she was naked in front of me many times throughout the shoot, yet I never actually felt turned on. [Very original gay joke, you dick.] Because at any given moment, there are at least five middle-aged dudes lingering nearby.

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