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Then there are the men I've met online who are actually my age, chronologically and emotionally, who seem to click with my weirdness in all the right ways.Some are people whose social circles overlapped with mine but whom I'd never have otherwise met; whose emails wake me up at 5 a.m.It has generally been rote and fruitless, with occasional flurries of excitement, but for someone who makes their living with words, I've had a weirdly difficult time wooing dudes with them.

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I had about a year-long run of being semi-seduced by men to have them hightail it, like scared little bunnies.

It was making me feel like crap, so I went to Europe, specifically Stockholm, and immediately got laid."For the time being, going to Europe is off the table for me, if only because I hid my passport from myself after a long-distance tryst with someone I'd met on a work trip went sideways.

"Now that I'm 31, I realize that I just liked WOMEN.

My current girlfriend is four years older than me, but I definitely see her as my equal.

with anticipation; who encourage me to be a bit of a mush about Valentine's Day and , much to my surprise; who don't blink twice at comparing natal astrology charts; who inspire me to take classes and write more and wear red lipstick because it looks good on me.

Some are delightful surprises because sometimes it's about being at the right place at the right time when you're the right age.

My clock didn't begin ticking louder when I turned 40, but the echo of her boots on the floor did.

Before now, the single men I wanted to date weren't interested in nubile twenty-somethings — at least not exclusively — and even in my mid-thirties competition from younger women didn't concern me.

When I was younger, I saw the girls (and the guys, for that matter) my age to be kids, which I was too.

Older women were how I escaped that feeling."Michael isn't alone in his desires though they're not always reciprocated.

Those exceptions take effort, and online dating is like Amazon Prime for sex.

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