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Like a good drug, The Company sold a cycle of excitation and frustration.
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“God help us if the best we can say about the sex we have is that it was consensual,” Maya Dusenbery said in a piece for The Cut. What if pleasure were the basis for a sexual and political education?
We’d like to say it is pleasurable too, but patriarchal indoctrination only speaks of pleasure in terms of possession—of how one can seek it or chase it. That is what Audre Lorde recommends in her 1978 lecture “The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power.” Lorde argues pleasure is what is always present and always possible within.
When I bitched about work to my best friend, as I often did, she gestured to the pile of manuscripts in front of me waiting to be read, symbols of my chosen trade, and asked: “Do you want this or does your cop want this?
” I took the question as a playful koan on consent.
a young and, at times, unemployed woman in New York, I knew my strength in public relations was as necessary for finding a partner as it was for finding a job.
I never opened an account with an online-dating service—except for the one time I downloaded Tinder while on lunch break in Midtown and closed it minutes later, my appetite lost.
The contract of consent implies the pernicious fiction that all parties benefit equally under the law, when many people cannot and do not consent to the very basic conditions of their lives.
Who can say they “consent to” the quality of the air that they breathe or the condition of the water that flows from their tap?
“Their only goal is the accumulation and management of patents in order to control the reproduction of bodies and pleasure.” Or, put more bluntly: “Its purpose is to transform your ass and mine or rather your desire and mine into abstract profits.” Singles might be the product and the consumer, but they are also on the clock.
“Does Online Dating Feel Like An Exhausting, Time-Consuming Struggle?
I was more of a virtual assistant—that precariously murky job title for workers who are always available, and so never paid by the hour.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating