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It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger. But, I think it’s important because she dresses for her own satisfaction, and not any particular style that I can discern. She has shirts with peace signs on them, and of course ones with horses. It’s just something she occasionally makes an effort to do. That being said, I agree that it shouldn’t be the first or only topic of conversation. ” and follow it up with “What have you learned recently?As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments. I’m much happier when she makes it over the higher jump on a horse. ” Reply That’s the important thing, I think: complimenting where compliments are due. As Lisa alluded to in the article, the problems come when only one aspect of a personality is ever praised – and also if it’s only praise that is ever received.I don’t remember doing that when I was a young girl.
As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are. It’s our culture’s standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn’t it? I told her that I’d just written a book, and that I hoped she’d write one too one day. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we’d read it and talk about it. That got her too amped up to sleep, and she came down from her bedroom a few times, all jazzed up. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? But I did change Maya’s perspective for at least that evening. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Bloom has written numerous popular and scholarly articles for the Los Angeles Times, Family Circle, the National Law Journal, CNN.com, the Daily Beast, and many more.
In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that fifteen to eighteen percent of girls under twelve now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and twenty-five percent of young American women would rather win America’s next top model than the Nobel Peace Prize. She currently lives in Los Angeles where she runs her law firm, The Bloom Firm.
As a parent, we could help by introducing our child by name and an interest.
For example, “This is Amelia and she loves drawing different animals and plants.” or “This is Nikita and she loves doing puzzles.” This would then prompt the person to delve deeper or provide a general comment about the particular interest, rather than appearance which is an easy default. It reinforces to our child(ren) that we recognize and honor their interest as well as encourages the adult (or kid for that matter) to engage them.
Reply If a 15 year old dresses well; fine, acknowledge it, good for her, she probably had some say in the matter.
But when you compliment a 5 year old’s outfit, you are simply complimenting the parents fashion choices.
It’s surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I’m stubborn. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. From 2001-2009, Bloom hosted her own daily, live, national show on Court TV, and she has guest-hosted Larry King Live, The Early Show, and Showbiz Tonight.
Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. You’re just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. She has been featured on Oprah, Nightline, Today, Good Morning America, Rachael Ray, and many more, and she was a nightly panelist on The Insider throughout 2010.
I will not ignore their “cuteness” but I will not allow it to take center stage over more enduring and relevant attributes.
Reply Thank you for this practical extension ‘how-to’ which will make it easier for adults to talk with children.
Her first effort was to find some non-appearance related common ground to start the conversation.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating