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We don't know what the fuck we're doing but we bring it all back to my and Bella's house, mix it all into empty gallon milk jugs we'd put aside to make bongs (full gallons of pot in the lungs at once-swimmer's lungs - massive highs full push down and get bombed as fuck). Why can't they let a woman watch me fucking pee?I feel weird and annoyed but not really - I am just fucking tired of this shit. I stand up, I can't help but try to hide my cunt - but who gives a fuck?
I reached over and leaned in, propped up on one elbow next to her, and spread my arm across and I had never felt anything so soft before in my life and knew I was going to Hell and her lips were the softest and I don't understand why I love them and can't hear anything when I kiss her.
We drove back to the party and, walking in, I heard some dickhead freshman named Scott call one of the track guys a and Scott wobbles and falls on the ground on his own because he's so drunk and forgetting about Brandy at the door, all this shit is so wrong, and I'm drunk and walk over to Scott when he falls to the ground, straddle him from above and without thinking, and grab his collar and deck him one two three times in the fucking face and throw his skull back down where it came from. I kick him once in the gut with my foot, telling him that he's a fucking idiot, get the fuck out of here asshole, and no one says anything. I turn around where I came from and leave the party without saying anything else. I write a letter I don't send to Mom and Dad asking for their forgiveness for I have sinned and my roommate, Bella, giggles the next day that I made out with a girl and everyone knows. The next day in practice, Scott shows up with a black eye busted face and doesn't say anything and Shaw high-fives me on the side. Pushing off the wall, I look into the lane line next to me and Shane, Brandy's boyfriend, underwater, too, pulls down his bathing suit and take out his dick and it flops around like that when I look at it.
Isca, who I loved on my recruiting trip - his one green and one blue eye - drops out of school and falls in love with a small girl who sucks his dick, he says - I didn't and I pretend I don't care.
I don't see him anymore and when I'm alone I cry once over him leaving. At practice, everyone else just jumps right into the pool, and I can't shrill the metal water on my skin ripping deep into flesh, so I pace the pool deck back and forth, putting it off as long as I can before Coach Marley says something and I'm the last one in.
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- and I wipe, flush the toilet, and hand him the cup, point to it, and say, "That is totally testing positive." I walk away up the black stadium corridors not to Marley but the head coach's office to do damage control. I cry and he puts his hand on my shoulder sitting next to me and I hate it - he has kids and I bet he doesn't want them to turn out like me and he's religious and I just fucked a girl for the first time a few nights ago.
I make an appointment with his secretary and walk around and around the stadium halls that float above the basketball court we walk through every morning - always dark, it seems, and never lit - and I sit on the benches high above it, outside the gold cave where the coaches' offices' light is yellow and I get called in like an echo across canyons because the entire stadium is empty - holding the residual echoes of its fullness from the basketball game last night and I walk into the neon light and sit on the couch and begin: tears. She was Shane's girlfriend and she brought me to his house and I didn't even take her panties off because I was so shocked and she could see the nervous but I tried to ignore it - a reclining in black lace I had never seen before and a bra I couldn't take off lying spread on a bed that was not mine, in a wood paneled room deep in the dark where t-shirts hung dead on doorknobs and a screen porch door I was afraid Shane was going to open and come through.
And walked on deck zonked out of my mind and the concrete screamed white at me and all we did was sit-ups.
Get in the water."And I get up real close to him and I'm taller than him and I look down at him and my arms are big near him and I tell him that he doesn't have a job without me.
And before it even starts, I get kicked out of practice again.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating