Zero rejection dating

We call ourselves names, lament our shortcomings, and feel disgusted with ourselves.

In other words, just when our self-esteem is hurting most, we go and damage it even further.

When our spouse leaves us, when we get fired from our jobs, snubbed by our friends, or ostracized by our families and communities for our lifestyle choices, the pain we feel can be absolutely paralyzing.

The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain.

That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal (albeit, emotional) pain. Evolutionary psychologists believe it all started when we were hunter gatherers who lived in tribes.

Rejection destabilizes our need to belong, leaving us feeling unsettled and socially untethered.

Therefore, we need to remind ourselves that we’re appreciated and loved so we can feel more connected and grounded.

The answer is — our brains are wired to respond that way.

When scientists placed people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, they discovered something amazing.

Today, thanks to electronic communications, social media platforms and dating apps, each of us is connected to thousands of people, any of whom might ignore our posts, chats, texts, or dating profiles, and leave us feeling rejected as a result.

In addition to these kinds of minor rejections, we are still vulnerable to serious and more devastating rejections as well.

Thinking, “I should probably avoid talking about my ex on my next first date,” is fine. Most rejections, whether romantic, professional, and even social, are due to “fit” and circumstance.

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